Return to salt-based economy to stabilize financial mess: Comedy Central

Most issues in the salt industry are invisible to the late-night talk shows and ignored by our cultural arbiters, but the latest flap about the cost and availability of road salt for the coming winter has cut a broad swath.  In last night's "The Colbert Report" on the national network Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert, tongue firmly in cheek, called for a return to a salt-based economy as a means of stabilizing the nation's precarious financial condition.  "Moving to a salt-based economy is a return to our fiscal roots," he explained.

The price of salt has gotten so high that some cities can't afford enough road salt for the winter and will be forced to de-ice their roads the old fashioned way with global warming. In the last year, salt has gone up from 45 to 79 dollars a ton. A ton of dollars is currently worth two euros. That's why I'm not saying you should invest your money in salt. I'm saying you should convert your money into salt. Moving to a salt-based economy is a return to our fiscal roots. Roman soldiers were paid in salt. It's where we get the word salary which is compensation people get in exchange for doing a job. Ask your parents. Of course, we can't trust our banks anymore, but our salt wealth can be stored in any number of locations.